Women Can't Be Friends

In case you haven't noticed, most of my analytical interests are men. It's not that women are not interesting to analyze. The problem is that you can't talk to women about their issues. In my experience, as soon as you take the relationship to that level, women seem to feel revealed, uncovered, maybe even judged, and it's a natural tendency is to hide.

So, there is a barrier that keeps most of my long term female relationships extremely superficial. And the intimate female relationships I do have, I find it interesting to note, are with women who are very confident and strong, more like men than women, if you can let that make sense to you.

Shirley and I have the best female relationship I have ever been in. It seems we both go out of our way to point out the negatives in each other, even to excess. Every time I see Shirley, I know she is going to ask me if I just didn't feel like getting ready that morning or remind me why she can't go running with me because my pace is too slow. It's just like the constant mockery you witness between two male friends, and it's like an open door to me that says, "it's okay to talk about our issues. No one is going to get weird about it."

That said, I don't actually spend a lot of time with Shirley. After all, I am a woman, and I can only take so much criticism. The nice thing about our relationship is that we can always pick up where we left off. No one is keeping track of whose turn it is to call the other or how one-sided the relationship is getting.

Perhaps it's the fact that a lot of women already have psychiatrists and don't need their friends digging into all their issues as well. Perhaps women have to work things out internally and are emotionally unable to disclose their struggles. And as always, I am willing to entertain the idea that maybe it's just me.