I only blog when I feel skinny

Speaking of volleyball, I just realized why I hate sports. It’s because I never feel in control.

Not only can the ball go anywhere any time, but the other players are also looking for every opportunity to surprise me.

It’s a helpless feeling, no matter how much I have practiced. The dreadful wondering what might happen next is…well…dreadful.

I think that’s why I like running, because there are no surprises.

And yet I hate running, because, although I control my progress, I don’t progress.

The only thing that feels worse then being out of control is being in control and doing nothing about it.

I don’t understand why I hate being out of control, and yet I don’t tame the things that I hate that I can control, like these fat thighs.

There is some joy in masking a weakness, but it will always be there distracting you from any sense of achievement.

Vanse is the kind of guy who is ready for every surprise, in sports at least. He welcomes the challenge. And although he does a lot of training, I think the key is that he is first of all not afraid to fail.

Being skinny might make me better at sports, but the real test of my progress will come tomorrow morning when I decide whether or not to wear shorts in public.