Greed vs. Hope

Both greed and hope have to do with expectations. Greed is a pessimistic expectation whereas hope is an optimistic one.

People who deal with these roots may find it difficult to attach importance to events in history that did not produce an obvious effect on the future. At the same time, their past is largely controlling their outlook on impending life.

Those who feel they have generally met with gain tend to be hopeful in their view. Those who believe they have suffered loss or disappointment, as a rule, expect more of the same.

Greed is not just the taking of matters into your own hands, per se. Yes, it does cause people to store up materials and plan how they will force the future to be kind to them, but just like pride, greed has a deeper meaning than a dictionary can provide.

The real root of greed is the belief that you deserve a better past than you had and, even more so, a better future than you expect.

Hope is the relief of letting go.

Threes

In many threes there are two apparent opposites and one greater, dovetailing concept. You might assume the list is all-inclusive after two. Then after you hear the third, you wonder how the list would be complete without it. It redefines the list in a way.

As you are aware, I am struggling for the third part of the root cause theory. We have the root sin thesis and the root good antithesis, but we are still missing their synthesis.

Could this structure apply to the root sins? Are greed and pride on the short list while lust redefines it?

What about the three root goods? After all, the greatest of these is love.

A wonderful three to live by is knowing there are three sides to every story: your version, my version, and the truth.

But what about the Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? Does this fit the concept? Does one redefine the other two?

Was the Holy Spirit unanticipated? Father and Son would have seemed whole. But now that we know the Holy Spirit, I can’t imagine the Father and Son without Him!

Controlling Myself

Masen lives in another city but commutes to work in our office, staying a few nights in the company flat every week. I don’t know how he finds being alone.

We ran into him about two weeks ago in a Chinese restaurant at about 11:00 at night. He had clearly just enjoyed the traditional “few drinks down at the pub after work”. When I saw him he said “Hi, Kelly,” and I let him get by with that.

The next day he stopped by to apologize for being a little funny the night before, and I asked him if that’s what he did on his own every week; get drunk and go out for Chinese. He laughed which means yes, so I offered him some company next time.

I also asked him if that’s why he called me Kelly instead of Amy. Again he laughed, which means yes.

Today when I saw him he called me Mrs. Worrell. This means that he has forgotten my name again, but he knows it’s not Kelly. I let him get by with that.

My grandma uses the same trick. When she forgets your name she calls you Miss Priss or Slim or something else appropriate for a woman her age to call you.

Am I the only one who over-analyzes everything?

When someone starts to add to a lively conversation and gets interrupted, I count the number of times they retry before they give up. In less than 60 seconds I am speculating what sort of childhood they must have had.

I pay attention when people say the same things to different people in different ways, and I wonder how much they prepare. Or do lying and self-preservation come so easily?

I can spend hours supposing what that person meant when they said “you’re addictive.”

You can imagine what a challenge it is to gain control of this prideful mind. Oh, for a simple lustful thought that I could easily capture!

Reasonable Control

Marriage is the single most important objective for most young women. The desire builds during the last days of high school and reaches a fevered pitch as they exit university. By then they’re scanning every scene, looking for anyone they could possibly live with for the rest of their life. But in fact, the right person is the one you can’t live the rest of your life without.

Kelly is my one.

Even so, there is not just one person in this world that is fitting for each of us. In reality, there are many people you are compatible with and could probably build a fantastic life with. If you choose the first one you find, and you come across other well-suited companions later in life, this may cause you confusion. It is very common to then wonder if you married the right person.

Many people feel bad when this happens, but it is not a sin for that thought to enter your mind. In fact, thoughts in general are not sin; it is what you do with them that is important.

Trigger thoughts appear all the time, often uninvited. If you give way, they can turn into willful sin.

On the other hand, if you (1) capture each thought, (2) recognize its wicked potential , and (3) choose not to indulge, then you will almost certainly avoid sin. You have to act as an observer of yourself and control your thoughts before your thoughts gain control over you.

This process only takes a few seconds. In fact, if you linger, you are probably indulging!

Do you know your own thought life; as an observer of it?

Finding your spouse is not so much about finding as it is about realizing who they are. And knowing yourself is all about recognizing what’s already there.

Pre-destination

Not only do most people reject the theory of pre-destination, but most people won’t even consider it as a possibility. It is difficult to consider and accept because it requires us to relinquish control, and we love to be in control.

What if God has pre-destined every thing in this world? Can you allow Him that right?

When you made up your mind, did you even allow it to be possible? Were you unbiased, or did you hope you would come to a certain conclusion?

It is always wise to hold your theories with an open palm.

We must come to a point where we have no will of our own, where any answer is acceptable. If we are pre-destined, it’s okay. If we are not, it’s okay. If He leaves you with no answer, it’s okay.

When nothing can change your love for or commitment to God, maybe that is when He reveals the truth.

We’re either pre-destined or we’re not, and no matter what you believe, the truth remains. Are you willing to know it?

Love Languages

Today I am not going to discuss love as a root of good, but rather love’s outward expression. I think it’s relevant before we go further with love vs. lust.

The way you demonstrate love and the way the people in your life need to be shown love may not be in sync.

You express love in one of 5 love languages:

(1) Words of affirmation
(2) Gifts
(3) Quality time
(4) Acts of service
(5) Physical touch

And the people you love need to “feel” loved in one of these 5 ways as well.

It is highly probable that you give love in the same way your parents showed their love for you.

My dad, for example, loves by providing services. He is the kind of person who will get off work at 7:00 pm and drive for an hour to help you load up and move to your new place, staying with it until 3:00 in the morning, even though he has to be back at work by 8:00 am. He is showing me how much he loves me by supplying me with this service.

And as it turns out, I show people I love them by doing things for them as well, at least I believe I do. If you know me and you disagree, please help me know myself better by telling me why I am wrong.

But not everyone in my life interprets service as love. Someone who needs physical touch will not recognize the way I am showing them my love. Therefore, they may feel neglected, and our relationship may become stressed.

You can significantly improve your relationships by understanding others’ love languages, but first you must recognize your own. How do you express love? And what expression makes you feel loved?

Here’s a test in case you need help, but you should be able to figure it out with little contemplation.

Further to this post, I can highly recommend Dr. Chapman’s book on the subject.

Over-compensation

I used to have a boss who was overly cautious not to have the appearance of wrongdoing. Everything he did was so deliberate that I believe he actually gave the impression that something was wrong, exactly the opposite of what he intended.

When I would meet with him he would leave his office door cracked open just enough to be able to say that he held an open door policy. His policy was never to be behind a closed door alone with a female, other than his wife. This was one of the guidelines he followed in an effort to prevent his relationships from being questioned.

Another of his unnecessary precautions was the one-armed hug, and Rhyse is not the only man I know who insists on these. I guess the point of the one-armed hug is not to give the impression of intimacy with someone other than your spouse, but is that really necessary?

Who sits around and thinks of an open door policy? And what’s going through someone’s mind when they spoil a perfectly innocent moment by turning sideways and putting one arm around your shoulder like a pal? It makes you feel like you’ve made an advance on them.

If I give someone a big squeeze, do people always assume something is improper between us? And if I have a meeting with my boss behind a closed door, do they always assume something inappropriate is going on?

And is this really about what other people think? Or could Rhyse be struggling with lust and letting his over-compensation give him away?

Digging Deeper

If pride and faith are just reflections of who is in control of your life, then the other roots must also have deeper issues they reflect in the same manner. It might be more precise to say that pride and faith are reflections of who has control of your life in the present. And greed and hope are reflections of who has control of your future.

A greedy person accumulates things because it is a way to exercise control over the future. Buying something gives you the sense of having something in the future. It is, effectively, providing for yourself rather than allowing God to provide for you. It holds for eating as well. Greedy people may overeat in an attempt to secure their own future satisfaction or happiness.

However, this theory leaves lust and love to be issues of control of the past. But the past is past, so is there really control to be had?

Maybe lust, greed, and pride are stages of sin. Lust is the raw desire, greed is desire with an object, and pride is desire with an object plus an action.

Perhaps it’s how sin relates to the three parts of who you are: body, soul, and spirit. Your body is your physical make up. Your soul is your emotional, mental, or psychological make up. And your spirit is what lives in you; either the spirit of the world, which you are born with, or the Holy Spirit, Who is offered to you instead.

Then pride is a sin of the body, greed is a sin of the soul, and lust is a sin of the spirit. That would explain why it is so hard for me to diagnose anyone with lust because…how can I judge another man’s spirit? And is it possible to really know whether or not another person is saved anyway? And does this mean lust is only a sin for non-Christians? Or even if we have accepted the Holy Spirit, does the spirit of the world still live is us? I always thought once you received the Holy Spirit it only remained to fight against your own flesh and soul to avoid sin.

There are more questions than answers today, but questions make great shovels.

Pride vs. Faith

Pride is a complex notion, as are all the root issues. A lazy thinker will settle for arrogance as the definition. Some will go on to recognize that pride can also mean delight, as in being proud of your children. These are our most common applications of the word to our experiences. But as you probably expect, my meaning is different. I am talking about your character. Arrogance and delight are outward manifestations of who you are as a person. The root of pride is in your nature.

Faith is also a difficult concept. A simple definition would be trust, or if you have a healthy vocabulary, maybe assurance. Faith is almost always associated with religion, as in having faith in God. And when I use it to illustrate a root good, I can’t escape that association because I believe that all good things come from God. But again, trust and assurance are only expressions, and faith is an issue of your character.

The symptoms of pride and faith can be very similar, causing others to sense confidence and certainty, for example. The difference is in their intent.

I like the way Tanton describes a root sin as a perversion of a root good. Pride is a perversion of faith. Faith is the understanding and accepting of who is really in control of your life. Pride is resisting faith by trying to take control yourself. It is your belief that you are able to do everything necessary, now and in the future, to survive and be happy. Faith is dependent on God, while pride eliminates your need for God.

A lifetime of living is made up of a finite number of moments, and the real root issue is actually one of control or authority. Who has the right to control every moment? As you know, a moment passes quickly. A faithful person is armed for every moment because they spend so much time with God. A prideful person is weak in every moment because they spend so much time with themselves, with their own thoughts.

Perhaps pride and faith are not roots at all, but just more symptoms of whether you embrace life God's way or your own.